Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
