I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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