Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize