Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
