Got a toothbrush?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
