I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
