Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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