are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
