from now on my penis is your penis
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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