i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I could fuck to npr.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
