Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize