I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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