Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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