Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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