You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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