I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
