I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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