i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
being pregnant is like rehab
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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