he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's the barista slut.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
40s are totally the cure
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize