Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
