What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
