I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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