so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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