Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
