just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
