I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
