I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
