let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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