i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
