who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
