My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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