I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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