just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
