Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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