Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
