I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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