she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
