? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
