Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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