you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
