Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
