Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
