Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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