At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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