Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
