Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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