I cockslap morals
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
