So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
