The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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