I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
