That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
