Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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