Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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