i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
