Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
