Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We have started to decorate penises.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
