also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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