told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
