My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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