I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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