it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
