Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize