i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
